Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sexual Etiquette

March 8, 2011 | By SexyOldBroad In sex |

is there an etiquette to sex?When we think of etiquette and manners we think about everyone sitting at the dining table using the proper knife, fork and spoon, no elbows on the table, napkin in the lap and not chewing with your mouth open. Sexy also has its own etiquette and you ignore it at your peril. Okay maybe peril is too strong a word for this — nobody is going to boil you in oil if you goof up but anything that can improve your sex life shouldn’t be ignored.

For instance if his favorite position is doggy style and you can only get off if you’re on top, it’s the smart sexy guy who’ll defer to her most of the time because of the added benefits he gets when he watches her take off to the moon.

Is it cool to fake an orgasm? In my opinion, not very cool at all. Let’s say you had sex with a guy in the doggy style position and you didn’t orgasm — you should be honest and tell him that you didn’t reach the big O and would like to do things differently next time. Make sure you say you enjoyed it but it just didn’t get you the golden ring. ALL men want you to have an orgasm. It’s something in their DNA that likes to know he’s a big stud. If you’re not telling him what you need, it’s hardly his fault, is it?

If you meet someone for sex and you have a great time, is a follow-up phone call expected? YES! Can I say yes twice on this one? If you’re the guy, even in these modern feminist times, the guy is expected to call and say he had a nice time. It’s also okay for a woman to call and say the same thing but it’s not as important as the woman receiving the call. It’s affirmation that she’s not considered a tramp. Double standard? Maybe but don’t screw this one up. Call.

Should oral sex be reciprocated? Absolutely! Any woman giving a blowjob shouldn’t settle for being the only one giving. Turn about is fair play I say.

Spitting or Swallowing? Okay Miss Manners says neither is more polite and it should be up to the person performing oral sex as to whether there’s a swallow or spit. What’s most important is that the one getting the blow job should respect the giver’s choice. Insisting on swallowing and then ending up with a gag reflex or barfing all over the bed or floor is going to end up with no more blowjobs. She’ll be embarrassed and she won’t want to go there again. If you’re a spitter, just bring a towel with you.

Who provides the condoms? Either one. Don’t leave the decision on who supplies the condom til you’re all hot and bothered. Everyone should have some in the bedroom.

What happens when your partner does something that is a decided turn-off? If you’ve been with this person a long time it’s perfectly okay to say, “That’s really not working for me.” If this is a new partner, instead of being blunt like you would with someone very familiar sexually, you could say, “could you move a little further up?” or “That feels wonderful, could you do it a bit longer?” If you’re REALLY turned off, say so. “Sorry, that’s not doing it for me so can we try something else?”

What happens if one of you says the wrong name? If you have been together for a long time and you’re having an affair, you’re pretty much screwed on this one. If this is a new relationship.. laugh, because it IS funny.

What if I don’t want to see this person any more after we’ve had sex. DON’T just not call. That is so un-classy. You liked this person enough to be naked together, be nice enough to be honest. The person is all grown up and can handle the truth. Maybe this person feels the same way – regardless, it’s closure and time to move on.


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